Written May 22, 2010

This is what I wrote in my journal on May 22, 2010 at 1:42 am!

You know how sometimes life just seems to pass you by and then something happens and it feels like one more good thing and You might explode?

That is how I feel about writing and getting my book accepted to be published. If my huge desire-having children-happens, too, I think I could explode with excitement, joy, wonderful feelings, etc.

I know God could do that. I’m just waiting for Him to show up now. to make me see Him do something else that was on my “desire” list. I think I should be content, but I still feel like I should be able to want something more from God. And so I hang on for the most exciting thing for me.

Yes, being published is really exciting, an author’s dream come true, but for me…children…that’s what I still want.

Am I being selfish? Has my one exciting thing in my life, in this point of my life already been given?

I know my God. I know He is the God of the impossible. Could You, Lord, please give me my biggest desire…children? I know that You can. I just don’t know what You are waiting for.

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