Archive for June, 2010

Another vent on a different topic…

Is it okay if I vent again? I already did a bit to my husband, Ben ;-) but I needed to do so again! lol

*sigh* I understand now that my brother is trying to be big brother even though is a year younger than me! He still tries to tell me how to run my life, spend my time, etc. *sigh* What’s so exasperating about it that he plays video games! I wonder how a game on FB is different than a video game…??

*shakes head*

BUT I joined that game on FB anyway…lol. I wonder what he will say…it is fun to play though :-) hehe


Just so you know this is going to be a bit of a vent. I didn’t want to put this where it might hurt someone’s feelings that hasn’t read my blog. lol If it still hurts or offends someone, forgive me and get over it. I already warned you! lol

I am a member of a forum type thing for pregnant women, moms, and women who hope to get pregnant. Today,  I was reading a post about how it isn’t far that some women get horrible morning sickness, etc. I wanted to post…you should be glad you are pregnant! Do you have any idea how much it hurts at times to read all these posts about how horrible or unfair this and this is and I’m wanting to tell them…I would LOVE to be where you are! They need to thank God for their blessings…they are bringing life into this world! Be glad…and happy.

*sigh* To be in their shoes…I am trying not to wish away my time right now, but it is SO hard!

God, help me to see that the time I have with Ben now is wonderful times. We need not ‘worry’ about a child, etc, but I am desiring…yearning for a little one Lord. Please…please…a child(ren) for us.

Let the chaff burn!

I posted this as my Facebook status. It says:

You know how fire consumes everything in its path? That’s how Holy Spirit wants to be in our lives. He wants to burn the chaff. He won’t burn what you don’t give Him. Why would we want to keep any part of ourselves from Him?

Burn the chaff in my life, oh Lord! I’m ready for what is to come. I’m looking ahead and leaving the past in the past!

I am tired of people who aren’t willing to give God everything. I want to shake their world and tell them that Jesus (God in human form) gave ALL of Himself! Why can we not give that much to Him? Are we so ungrateful? Are we so snobby? Are we so scared?

Don’t YOU have a clue? Have you not even realized that what you are doing is walking ALL over what Jesus has done? Get over yourself and start being the man or woman God has called you to be! PICK YOURSELF UP! Don’t be a burden. Let Holy Spirit burn the chaff and move on! There is nothing in this world that you can buy that you can take with you! GOD ONLY WANTS YOU!!

Can you hear it? Can you hear what Holy Spirit is whispering to you?

If you can’t hear Him…try this. Speak the name of Jesus out loud over and over…until you can’t speak it anymore because the tears are closing your throat.

Can’t you see…have you not heard…the Lord is calling you to a higher calling. He is waiting for you. He YEARNS for you! Don’t let him wait…run. Run to Him…all who labor and are heavy laden. He will give you rest!

Written May 27, 2010

I wrote this on May 27th, 2010 at 12:10am.

Ben and I have been trying to go to bed earlier. Wednesday morning i got up around 10am…in the morning! Wow! hehe :-P :-D

It was great! I got the dusting in the living room done! woohoo!

Later today, I’ll try to get the dusting in my room done.

Lord, help me to remember that You never leave us, You are a mighty God. Help me to remember all that You say to me.

Father, I know I don’t spend enough time with You, help me to get alone with You. I need to spend alone time with You where You speak to me.

Lord, when I think about Your goodness, Your blessings, I smile and think of all the times You showed Yourself to be near me.

I ask that You help me to see how I can get to know You. I need to find a secret place to be with You. Show me where it is. I’ll meet You there. (Sometimes it ends up being the shower or my office! hehe)

I yearn for You oh Lord. I know You yearn for me. I run after You oh Lord. You run after me.

I am getting sleepy. I’ll see You in the morning, Lord. Wake me up early! :-D



Written May 22, 2010

This is what I wrote in my journal on May 22, 2010 at 1:42 am!

You know how sometimes life just seems to pass you by and then something happens and it feels like one more good thing and You might explode?

That is how I feel about writing and getting my book accepted to be published. If my huge desire-having children-happens, too, I think I could explode with excitement, joy, wonderful feelings, etc.

I know God could do that. I’m just waiting for Him to show up now. to make me see Him do something else that was on my “desire” list. I think I should be content, but I still feel like I should be able to want something more from God. And so I hang on for the most exciting thing for me.

Yes, being published is really exciting, an author’s dream come true, but for me…children…that’s what I still want.

Am I being selfish? Has my one exciting thing in my life, in this point of my life already been given?

I know my God. I know He is the God of the impossible. Could You, Lord, please give me my biggest desire…children? I know that You can. I just don’t know what You are waiting for.