Just Some Thoughts

Are you all getting the very scary feeling that there may be a civil war coming?? I mean…listen….read…what is being put out there? Hate. Hate. and more hate.

If we don’t sit and talk….really listen…not fight, not yell at each other…but embrace our differences because that is what makes this world beautiful.

Am I a horrible person because God decided that I was to be a white woman? Because that’s just a label….that’s just the surface! I am more than what you see! You are more than what I see!

One day at work, I helped two different black men find things. One was so tall that he could see well off in the distance of the store and find what he needed even before we got to it. It made me smile. Both I wanted to ask them to help me reach things that were too high, but it’s MY job not theirs. They were nice gentlemen. They called me “ma’am” and were very respectable. And to think…to think that anything could change the way we talked and acted with each other…it breaks my heart and I don’t even KNOW these men!

Yeah, we need to watch Remember The Titans again. As I type this I’m crying. Why oh why? The tears fall.

And it saddens me….so very much…not only is God angry….but more so I believe His heart is in agony. His creation is spreading hate when it should be spreading love.

When you see people on the street….pass them in the store…etc. etc. don’t forget their blood is just as red as yours!

You know…I would die before I allow anyone “on my watch” to die in front of me. If i could protect anyone, it wouldn’t be a certain race of people….but it would be our minds, our spirits, our hearts….for that is where the battle is really taking place! The media, etc does not want us to realize that. and if the media isn’t careful…well…let’s just say…this world will never be the same.

That is why to live in the now is all we have. Make it the best one you have.

My Issue-Video Blog

My Issue

A dream

I had a dream and yes, I’m going to share it.

I was about to be baptized at some conference or something. There was a little girl who I placed on a platform in the middle of the baptismal as it filled with water. The water rose over her shoulders. I moved her to a place that was higher. The water rose over her head. I grabbed her before she drowned. Her face was pale and she looked frightened. I asked her if she was scared. She nodded.

That’s what God does for us. He pulls us out of the water drowning us. He may even ask if we are scared even though He already knows the answer. The best thing to do when God asks you a question is to answer honestly. He already knows the truth.

Live and Remember

I think the phrase “get over it” shouldn’t be used unless it is something that can be recreated. For example, most of us can redo a meal, redo our outfit after it is stained, redo homework, etc etc. Things that are not easy to “get over” would include the death of a loved one, illness, crisis, etc.

 

I believe that it isn’t about “getting over” things, but about the willingness to live even though there are parts of ourselves that are missing. In the times that I miss someone who has passed away, I allow the tears to come. I allow the sadness. I allow myself to remember.

 

It isn’t about forgetting, but about walking, taking one step in front of another. It isn’t about it getting easier, but about being able to see that even in the midst of the sorrow there is joy. When I think about these things, I may cry, but there is also a smile in my heart.

 

It is like it is raining, but I dance in it. I can see the sun shining through the gray clouds. It is okay to move slow. It is okay to weep. It is okay to smile and laugh. Give yourself time. It isn’t a “get over” thing, but a “I will live and remember” thing. So take my hand my friends and family. We will move when it is time. We will smile and we will cry. We will live and remember.

November 4th, 2013

Chapter 3 of “You’re Already Amazing” by Holley Gerth

 

~A lie my heart sometimes still hears is: I’m not good enough. I’m ugly.

 

Lie #1: “I Have to Be Perfect”  :S

 

not the Western definition of “perfect”

in Hebrew perfect means “complete, mature”

 

Lie #2: “I Need to Be More Like Her”

 

share, care, prayer. Don’t compare!

 

Lie #3: “I Don’t Have Anything to Offer”

 

Lie #4: “Being Confident Will Make Me Prideful and Selfish”

 

Lie #5: “I Am Who Others Say I Am”

 

A lie I’ve believed: I’m not good enough. I’ll never be her, have what she has, etc.

 

The truth God wants me to remember instead: I AM good enough. There is only one me. I must be the best me I can be and not compare myself to someone else.

 

Scripture that shares this truth: Psalm 139

 

More in depth:

 

1.  Lie #1: “I Have to Be Perfect” How does knowing “by one sacrifice he has made perfect forever those who are being made holy” (Hebrews 10:14) change Lie #1 for you? What does God want us to pursue instead of perfection?

 

It isn’t about me being perfect, but about God making me holy. He wants us to purse holiness, His purpose, His Will, Himself!

 

2. Lie #2: “I Need to Be More Like Her” Who do you tend to compare yourself to? What helps you focus on who you are in Christ instead?

 

Those friends and family who have children. I wonder if I did something. Am I cursed or something? :S I am not her! God has a plan for me. It isn’t the same as the others!

 

3. Lie #3: “I Don’t Have Anything to Offer” What keeps you from “putting your truffles on the table” for God and others? If you had no fear about the worth of what you had to share with the world, what would you do?

 

Scared of the reaction. I know I didn’t do whatever it is the same way. I’m not good enough! So many things! Maybe that is part of my problem with my writings. I’m scared to share them with other people. Maybe I’m not as good of a writer as everyone says I am. They must be biased!

 

4. Lie #4: “Being Confident Will Make Me Prideful and Selfish” What’s the difference between insecurity and humility?

 

Insecurity is another for of pride.

Humility humbles itself in all things. :)

 

5. Lie #5: “I Am Who Others Say I Am” What have others said to you that has impacted the way you see yourself? What does God say about you instead?

 

“You’re ugly!” “You’re fat!” “You blimp, etc.”

I am beautiful. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. He has great things in store for me.

 

6. Are there any other lies you’ve become aware of that you need God to replace with the truth.

 

Not sure right now.

 

7. Write a prayer.

 

Daddy God, thank You for what You have revealed in myself so far…the lies I have heard and believed. Continue to reveal any and all lies I have believed in my life. Help me replace the lies with Your Truth. Cover me in Your love. In Jesus’ name I pray, Amen!

Oct. 19th, 2013

Chapter 2 of “You’re Already Amazing” by Holley Gerth

 

Your Strengths

“When you attack yourself, you side with the enemy.”

 

I won’t list all the strengths I circled. lol

 

Your Skills

“Watch out, world! We’ve got skills and we’re not afraid to use them!”

 

Again, I won’t list all my skills lol

 

Your “Who” (who you minister to using your strengths and skills)

 

I feel especially drawn to: People. Usually kids, young teen girls, women.

I’m at my best when I’m with: People. :) Usually kids, young teen girls, women.

God has give a tender spot in my heart for: People. Usually kids, young teen girls, women. Broken people in need of care.

My strengths and skills seem to help: kids, young teen girls, women.

 

Chapter 2-Go Deeper Guide

 

1. List of the top three strengths.

Encouraging

Creative

Sensitve

 

2. N/A :)

 

3. Being too sensitive I get hurt easily, but it may help at times when a situation calls for sensitivity and it isn’t given.

 

4. List of top three skills. #5 is putting the strengths and skills together :)

Acting-Communicating  -strength would be Sensitive

Decorating-Creative -strength would be Creative

Encouraging-Listening -strength would be Encouraging

(wow these strengths and skills lined up pretty well uh? :D)

 

6. Listing heart, personal, and functional relationships. I won’t share these :P :) lol

 

7. It seems God wants me to use my strengths and skills with People. Specifically  kids, young teen girls, women. (Mentor?? Be one and get one??)

 

Father God, You know my strengths and weaknesses. I love being around people mainly kids, young teen girls, and women of all ages. I could never be in a room of all men :(  My past would come back too much. I know that one of my biggest strengths is to encourage others. Help me to reach out to people. To use my strengths and skills for Your glory. In Jesus’ name, Amen!

Oct. 18th, 2013

Sitting on the front porch eating and listening to cars go by, some too fast, and children play across the street. Their laughter makes me smile. Loud music blares. Flies swarm on my tray where my food used to be. A gently breeze blows our autumn flag and rustles the tree leaves. The sky is a beautiful blue with strikes of white running through it.

 

I realize I may not be the only one in the world, BUT I may be the only one who sees things the way I do. That’s why I share my thoughts. Just maybe God will use me, wretch that I am, to touch a life. He may just show you Himself like He has never shown Himself to you before. Not because of me, but because of Him who abides in me!

 

The sunshine is so bright. It hurts my eyes when I look that way. Isn’t it the same with Jesus? When the SON shines, His glory lights up everything and it’s hard to look right at Him.

 

Shine Your glory, Lord, so that all I can see is You! :)

Oct. 17, 2013

Birdsong is being drowned out by a lawnmower. I know people need to mow, but I personally want to hear the beautiful song the birds sing in praise to the King!

 

Today…oh today is Thursday. Thanks Be To God Day! What are you thankful for?

 

I missed Tuesday! :S Ha! So today I am also going to have Truth Day :D THE TRUTH! What kind of Truth have you found this week? I’d love to hear it!

 

I am hearing the Truth come through my story. Here is a small part of chapter 9. It’s the last paragraphs.

 

As the sun slowly set behind the mountains, Philomena whispered the words of the Psalm. “I lift up my eyes to the hills…from whence comes my help? My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth.”

<That’s it, child. You are on your way. Keep coming. I will meet you in the still and quiet. Here I come!>

Oct. 15th, 2013

Today I read Psalm 8 for Our Daily Bread devotions. The devotion talked about childlike faith. Do we as adults still see God in the same way, with the same eyes as we did when we first came to Him?

 

Maybe, but probably not. The cares and woes and worries of this world cloud in. We forget what it is like to be childlike in out faith.

 

Somewhere along the line someone told us we had to “grow up” and we aren’t as awestruck as we once were. We don’t see God’s glory and all that He is as special as we used to.

 

And we wonder why we are where we are.

 

These are just the thought, feelings, and words of this daughter of the Most High God. You don’t have to read them. You don’t even have to agree with them if you do read them.

 

I’m not worried about you getting what I’m saying. Not one bit. BUT are you listening to the voice of God? Are you REALLY and TRULY listening to Him?

 

If so, are you obeying what He has said? Are you in a relationship with Him or not?

 

If you are in a relationship with Him, did you know that means sometimes you are silent while He speaks? You do not always have to speak, but I suggest listen up…listening well…all ears and with all your heart when He speaks to you. What He has to say is very, very important. You don’t want to miss it for anything.

 

Drop what you are doing. The cleaning can wait. The job can wait. The stomach can wait.

 

Does the Bible say anything about God waiting on us to get our act together? hmmmmmmm good question.

 

I see a lot of verses about waiting on the Lord, but are there any about God waiting on me?

 

That would make it seem like He would have to wait on us to not be broken, in need of help, weary, etc.

 

But rather we go to Him when we are broken and weary. He heals us and fixes us. He does wait, I believe, for us to come to Him instead of forcing us to hurry up.

 

I will reference the story of the Prodigal Son here. I love that story. Before the son steps onto the porch…the father sees him in the distance and starts to run to him.

 

Can you just see Father God doing that for you? For me?

 

Between times with Father God, and we finally take some time to be still before Him. He is SO excited, overjoyed to see us coming. He runs to us. Maybe He is calling our names.

 

“John. Sue. Tara. Carol. Michele. Pearl. Ashley. Jonathan. Benjamin. Renee. Daniel. Jennifer. Paul. Allan. Mark. Peter…” The list of names is endless.

 

He’s so excited and He calls your name. When He gets to you, you try to say something. “I’m sorry for taking so long to com to You.”

 

But you only get out “I’m sorry for taking…” before His arms are around you. Maybe you start to cry. You forgot how wonderful Daddy’s arms wrapped around you feels.

 

He picks you up. He carries you in His arms, on His shoulders. And you feel loved, special.

 

Stop. Halt. Slow down. Sorry to intrude on your sweet reunion. Do you know what some people have said in chat rooms and other places?

 

God loves us all the same. Well, yes He does, but that doesn’t mean we aren’t special to Him individually! That is just so there is no jealousy between us!

 

Shifting gears a bit…I have some things I need to share. There won’t be easy. Yup, it’s confession time.

 

If children are a blessing, does that mean those of us without children aren’t blessed? And yes, I’m asking this seriously. Oh but you are blessed in other ways. That may be, but saying that to me, one who wants children so much doesn’t really help.

 

How about this…yes, I covet what others have. Namely children.

 

Maybe you are like oh great now she is talking about this again! Can’t you just get over it!?!?! It isn’t that simple. You don’t just “get over” the death of a loved one do you?

 

For me, this is just as devastating. What you can do is pray for me and be a listening ear. I just need people to lift me up in prayer and encourage me, especially at the times when I’m the weakest. Don’t we all need those kinds of people?

 

Father God, thank You for today, for the chance to spread Your Light on more day. Thank You for listening to this woman’s cries, hurts, anger, and the times when I just want to give up. BUT there are also times when the joy is so overwhelming all I can do it smile and dance. Thank You for those.

 

Daddy, I would like to ask just one thing from You. Could You please send Your glory, Your healing, no not just to me, but to all who read this? We all could use some time protected under You wings, held in Your arms, and carried on Your shoulders.

 

The awesome thing is You can do all those things for each of us. You can protect, hold, and carry us all at once!

 

I love You, Daddy.

 

Thank You for wanting me and for showing me that I am Yours and I am amazing!

 

Love,

Your Little Girl

Oct. 14th, 2013

So if someone asked me to go for coffee or in my case tea and they asked me how I was REALLY doing I would say…

 

Better than I was yesterday! I think I was so lonely. Even though I know God is always with me, I got lonely. I wanted to talk with someone. You do know that it is okay to be, to feel lonely sometimes, right? We weren’t meant to be an “island” and go about life alone. No. We NEED each other.

 

AND even though my husband, God blessed me with such a wonderful man, works here at home I still get lonely and want to talk! ha!

 

It helps to be able to have someone to talk to at least for a little bit each day. I feel like if I don’t talk to someone…I will burst at times. I love conversation.

 

And I’m not always one to start conversations. Sometimes it takes me awhile to realize that I do need to speak up. I DO need to talk to the woman sitting alone. She might need a friend, too.